“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill

Fun fact: Your frugal has worked 26 jobs from age 16 to present day. I bounced from company to company, always in search of my dream job. New jobs are fresh and exciting. I started my new jobs with passion, purpose, and enthusiasm. The honeymoon phase started dwindling around four to six months and we were usually divorced within a year. I used to think that something was wrong with me like I was “unemployable”. Why can’t I find this “dream job” that everyone’s talking about?

Because my dream job doesn’t include working for somebody else for 30 years.

As I reflect on my 26th year of life, I thought it might be fun to share my REAL resume… the one I could never send to an employer. Enjoy 🙂

Name: Your Frugal Friend, Alycia
Email: mycurrencycanvas@gmail.com   

Objective Overview: Experienced business professional seeking job(s) that will help me save up enough money to travel the world. Then I’m out.

Education and Certification

International TEFL Academy: May 2016          
Earned my TEFL Certificate. This worldwide certification validates my credibility to Teach English as a Foreign Language (TEFL). This is my ticket around the globe. #30CountriesBy30

Virginia Commonwealth University: August 2012-August 2014
Started out majoring in Nursing. Then switched over to Business Administration, then changed my major to Early Childhood Education. Then I got tired of going to class and living a lie, so I dropped out…again.

Relevant Courses Completed:

  • Partying every day
  • Spending refund checks on flowers and alcohol
  • Skipping class
  • Withdrawing from all my courses, then lying to my parents about it
  • Having drunk conversations with homeless people on the street at 3 am
  • Beer Pong 101
  • Swiping the lifestyle I couldn’t afford on my Mom’s credit card

Skills and Areas of Expertise

  • Making you think that this occupation I’m currently doing is my passion and my life’s calling.
  • Acting as if I can really see myself here in five years when I probably won’t work here for longer than one year.
  • Claiming I deal with rude co-workers by “killing them with kindness” when in reality, I keep it real and stand up for myself. I don’t tolerate disrespect from ANYONE. Managers and CEO’s included.
  • Professional Interviewer. Successfully passed 25 job interviews with flying colors.
  • Professional Researcher (aka, I google the sh*t out of EVERYTHING, and fill in the blanks from there)

Work Experience

1. Hostess: June 2008-March 2009
Red Lobster (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • My introduction to the wonderful world of labor. Gained about ten pounds demolishing anywhere from five to ten biscuits a day.
  • Reason for leaving: I got fired for always eating biscuits at the hostess stand. I had another job offer, making .75 cents more an hour (and I was 16 with no bills), so I really didn’t care.

2. Hostess: March 2009-July 2009
Captain George’s Seafood Restaurant (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Such a chill job. All I had to do was walk back and forth and greet customers. I got to eat from the buffet every day and went home after my shifts smelling like a fish fry. Needless to say, I gained another ten pounds working there.
  • Reason for leaving: Got fired for keeping it real with a coworker in the middle of a dinner rush. (She took her job WAYYY too seriously and acted like she was my boss. Not today, Satan. Not tomorrow either)

3. Cashier: August 2009- September 2009
Sear’s Department Store (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Stood behind the register using every attempt to not blow my brains out from selling store credit cards with an alarming 25% interest rate, and making it sound like it was the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Reason for leaving: Put in my two weeks and stopped showing up. I was going to die of boredom if I didn’t get outta there.

4. Sales Associate: October 2009-March 2010
Shoe Carnival (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Walked around in circles, acting like I was straightening shoe boxes. Tried on all the shoes I thought were cute, even though I could never afford them with my $7.25/hour  wage.
  • Reason for leaving: Fired for constantly being late. I was only 17, so hanging out with my boyfriend and driving around in my Mustang was more important than working.

5. Shift Manager: April 2010-July 2012
McDonald’s Corporation (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • When I got fired from Shoe Carnival, my mom told me that I had to find a job or she would take away my car. So I applied EVERYWHERE, and McDonald’s was the first place to call me back.
  • I started out on fries, quickly made my way to cashier, then learned how to flip patties and make burgers. Five months later I was promoted to manager at the young age of 18. Managed a team of 30+ employees, 65% of them old enough to be my parents. Contributed to America’s obesity epidemic for entirely too long. Resolved customer complaints by giving them free food or giving their kids an extra happy meal toy.
  • Reason for leaving: left to give college a try at Virginia Commonwealth University. GO RAMS GO!
18 and managing a McDonald’s LOL

6. Cashier: October 2010-January 2011
Kohl’s (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Walked around in circles to keep from falling asleep from boredom. I had to be at work at 6 am. (3 am on Black Friday). Only kept the job so I could get discounts on cute clothes. Once I worked Black Friday here, I vowed to NEVER work Black Friday in retail EVER AGAIN.
  • Reason for leaving: The holiday season was over, so I just stopped showing up for work. It was a seasonal job anyway.  

7. Cashier: June 2011-July 2011
7-11 (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Was 19 when I first moved out on my own. This was my first real taste of adulthood and independence. My McDonald’s paycheck wasn’t quite cutting it, so I worked at 7-11 from 7 am to 3 pm and at McDonald’s from 4 pm to 2:30 am. My roommate introduced me to Adderall to help me stay awake, which was AWESOME… until I got home from McDonald’s at 3:30-4 am and had to be at 7-11 in 3 hours and was WIDE AWAKE. Flowers would help reverse the Adderall effects, but I’d end up oversleeping and showing up late to my morning shift at 7-11.
  • Reason for leaving: Tired of being shaky from lack of sleep and the side effects of Adderall. I also felt bad for constantly oversleeping and being late. One morning I woke up, looked at my phone, saw I was late, said ‘forget it’, rolled over and went back to sleep. I don’t even think I lasted there a month.

8. Cocktail Waitress: September 2012- November 2012
Paper Moon Gentlemen’s Club (Richmond, VA)

  • Walked around in a strip club asking men if they wanted to buy drinks for the dancers. (That was our way of knowing if they were going to spend money or not). Got to drink the leftover champagne from the night #PerksOfTheJob. I lost complete and total respect for 98% of the male species. Contemplated on becoming a dancer… then I thought about my Dad and my dignity. Then I rethought, “Forget my self-respect, I can make $500 in one night?! I don’t even make that in 2 weeks! SIGN ME UP!!!”
  • Reason for leaving: Did I mention I was thinking about becoming a stripper? I decided to go back to McDonald’s instead of dancing for dollars. Spoiler alert: I made WAY LESS money at McDonald’s.

9. Shift Manager: December 2012-February 2013
McDonald’s Corporation…again (Richmond, VA)

  • Same company, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DEMOGRAPHICS. I went from working at McDonald’s in the suburbs to working downtown in the city. Got a raise, so I was now making a KILLING of $9.00/hour baby. Since I was downtown, there were a lot of homeless people. I would pull up to work and see them digging through our trashcans for food, and cleaning themselves in the bathroom sink. So heartbreaking. The store manager would tell me to kick them out, but I gave them free food and coffee instead.
  • Reason for leaving: Tried to call out sick one day, and the assistant manager screamed at me and said, “IF YOU DON’T COME TO WORK TODAY, THEN YOU DON’T WORK HERE ANYMORE!!!” I am no longer employed for the McDonald’s Corporation as of that day. I don’t take sh*t from anyone.

10. Waitress: March 2013-July 2014
Marriott (Richmond, VA)

  • I had a blast serving food to all different types of people. That’s the beauty of working in a hotel. Helped me learn how to handle 10 (yes, I said it 10) tables AT ONCE. That’s about 25-30 people. Made like $300 every 2 weeks, but I was more focused on having fun than paying bills.  Plus I took summers off to go home to Virginia Beach.
  • Reason for leaving: Enlisted in the Navy, set to go to boot camp in January. Moved back home till then.

11. Cashier: Summer 2013 & 2014
Ocean Breeze Waterpark (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Summer job where I got to stand outside for 8 hours a day in the scorching heat watching misbehaved children run around while fighting for my life trying to avoid being stung by bees, wasps, and UFI (unidentified flying insects) for a whopping $7.25/hour. Not to mention the hideous uniforms we had to wear.
  • Reason for leaving: Tired of working in 100-degree weather for minimum wage. Also, hangovers and summer heat didn’t mix well.

12. Brand Ambassador: May 2014- July 2014
Victory Marketing (Richmond, VA)

  • Awesome job. Did various marketing events like handing out free wine at the Richmond Jazz Festival. I even got to work for Russell Wilson’s Passing Academy, and meet the quarterback himself.
  • Reason for leaving: Found a full-time job with benefits. Plus the paychecks took about 90 days to arrive.

13. Medical Corpsman: April 2014-November 2014
United States Navy (The U.S.A.)

  • TECHNICALLY, this isn’t a job until you go to Bootcamp, but when you have to study to take a test (ASVAB is like the SAT of the military), go in every week to get weighed and measured, let your Petty Officer know when you’re going out of town, abstain from drugs, remove all your piercings, learn how to march, salute, take an oath, and voluntarily sign your life away to the American Government, then it’s considered a job.
  • BOOTCAMP DATE: JANUARY 13, 2015 (Remember this date, it’ll make sense later).
  • Reason for leaving: Started working at GEICO and I just knew GEICO was going to be my career. I thought GEICO was the best thing since sliced bread, and I didn’t need the military, so I called my Petty Officer and told her I no longer wanted to join.

14. Licensed Insurance Agent: August 2014- December 2014
GEICO (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • This was my first big girl job! Started out making $30,000/year, with NO COLLEGE DEGREE, I knew I officially had it made! I ate, pooped, and bled GEICO. I even got to shake hands with the CEO, Tony Nicely on my second day! I was the Gecko and the Gecko was me. We were one…til they fired my a** on December 31, 2014…New Year’s Eve. 14 days before I was supposed to leave for Bootcamp on January 13, 2015.
  • Reason for leaving: GEICO IS ALL ABOUT NUMBERS, my numbers weren’t cutting it, so they let me go. I put all my eggs in the GEICO basket & lost them all. I had no plan. No backup plan. NOTHING. I thought I was going to be at GEICO for years and years to come. What a perfect way to ring in the New Year…unemployed. This is when I officially hit rock bottom.

15. Brand Ambassador: Mid January 2015-February 2015
Zipfizz (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Got to stand around in Sam’s Club on Saturdays and Sundays yelling, “ZIPFIZZ!!! HEALTHY ENERGY! NO SUGAR!!!!” Then I would take a water bottle, add the packet of Zipfizz, shake the bottle and pour. (Imagine the same concept as adding crystal light packets to your water) Disclaimer: Technically there’s “no sugar”, but they use sugar substitutes like the ingredients in Equal and Splenda. This was the stupidest sh*t I’ve ever done for money (besides go to college), but it paid $10/hour, which sounds great when you’re currently unemployed making $0/hour.
  • Reason for leaving: You stand around yelling the same sh*t for eight hours looking like Boo-Boo the Fool, and tell me if you’d stay.

16. Marketing Representative March 2015-Present
Beaute Agency (Various Locations)

  • Visit different grocery and liquor stores handing out free samples of wine, beer, and liquor for $20/hour on the weekends. This is one of my favorite jobs because I can pick and choose when I want to work (or don’t want to work), I get to sample the beer and wine and keep the liquor bottles when I’m finished working. Can you say the coolest job ever?! Plus my boss is really awesome.
  • Reason for leaving: Leave this job?! NO WAY JOSE!
Paid to look pretty and hand out free booze 🙂

17. Customer Service Representative: February 2015- June 2015
Hall Automotive (Virginia Beach, VA)

  • Read a script for eight hours a day asking the same exact 13 questions, over, and over, and over. Scheduled car maintenance for customers, like oil changes, tire rotations, things of that nature. I literally HATED this job, but it was full time and getting paid $9/hour was better than $0/hour. Luckily they gave us FULL internet access so I spent 95% of my day applying for other jobs.
  • Reason for leaving: YA GIRL MOVED TO HAWAII BABYYYYY!!!! ALOHA!!!!!

18. Waitress: June 2015-February 2016
Norwegian Cruise Lines (Hawaii)

  • Worked on a cruise ship serving tables seven days a week. Five months straight. 12-15 hours a day. NO DAYS OFF. Yes, you read that correctly. We NEVER got days off. But we cruised around the enchanting Hawaiian Islands, for FREE. I HAD A BLAST!!!! I met some of the most amazing and diverse people from all over the world. I went parasailing, kayaking, hiking, almost drowned while I was cliff diving, and got tons of tattoos. THIS JOB CHANGED MY LIFE. It still feels like a dream. I spent 25-30% of my paychecks on drinks at the Crew Bar every night partying with my Ohana (means ‘family’ in Hawaiian). Come on, we didn’t get days off for five months, so we had to take the edge off somehow.
  • Reason for leaving: Management was the WORST. Plus you see a lot of your friends leaving, which is very disheartening on top of being away from your family. I also had severe foot pain from 12-15 hour shifts, which made its way up to my back. Being overworked, underpaid, disrespected, and in pain wasn’t worth it anymore. The ship dropped me off in Honolulu after I quit, so I vacationed on Waikiki Beach for a week.

19. Waitress: April 2016
Truly Devine Wait Staff (New Jersey)

  • This was a catering event in observation of the Jewish holiday, Passover. Worked ten hours days, ten days in a row serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Kosher-style, of course. The company paid for us to stay in a motel on the beach for ten nights, which was pretty cool. Not the fanciest motel, but it was good enough. Got lit with all my coworkers EVERY NIGHT once we got off. Lots of flowers and booze. Such a good time.
  • Reason for leaving: Temporary event. Worked ten days for $1300 (plus tips).

20. Administrative Assistant: May 2017-June 2017
Keeper’s Staffing (Washington, D.C.)

  • Performed mundane office tasks like answering phones, pretending like I’m not on my phone, and refiling documents that have already been filed.
  • Reason for leaving: Received a permanent job offer elsewhere, just stopped calling in for work. I feel bad because they were really nice people. Oh well.

21. Receptionist: June 2017-January 2018
Mervis Diamond Importers (Washington, D.C.)

  • Worked in a diamond store answering phone calls, cleaning windows, responding to emails, and trying on engagement rings for fun.
  • Reason for leaving: Quit to teach English abroad in Nicaragua. Being a receptionist wasn’t nearly as glamorous as the diamonds we sold, but my manager was an absolute sweetheart (Love you, Dodi!), and the job was relatively chill. I was underworked and overpaid, just the way I like it.
You see that fly lady in the middle? That boss was my boss. BEST BOSS EVER!

22. ESL Teacher: September 2016- August 2018
Washington English Center (Washington, D.C.)

  • Started out as a place for me to teach/observe for 20 hours, so I could become a certified TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) teacher, but it instantly became so much more. This school allowed me to tap into my passion and spread my knowledge of the English language. I soaked up every piece of culture that my students shared with me, whether it be a new word, food, or a tradition from their country. It’s so beautiful. This was a volunteer position, so I didn’t get paid, but the feeling that teaching here gave me, and everything I learned is PRICELESS.
  • Reason for leaving: My scheduling made committing to a full ten weeks a bit tricky. I wanted to be able to give 100% to my students and couldn’t do that working four jobs.

23. Receptionist: January 2018- April 2019
H&R Block (Washington, D.C.)

  • Part-time seasonal job during the tax season. I answered phones, scheduled appointments, and worked on my website while I was at work. It paid $15/hour which help fund my debt-free journey.
  • Reason for leaving: Seasonal opportunity
Don’t be fooled, I wasn’t doing any real work 🙂

24. Customer Care Representative: 3 days in January 2018
American Diabetes Association (Washington, D.C.)

  • This is a call center facility that provides information to those affected by diabetes. We mailed out pamphlets about the disease, nutrition, and medication. LEGIT THE MOST DEPRESSING PLACE I’VE EVER WORKED AT.
  • Reason for leaving: I promised myself no more call centers OR CUBICLES, but I really needed a job. I felt like a dog on a leash and had to get out of there. I put in a one day notice and never returned.

25. Office Administrator: January 2018- May 2019
Castalia (Washington, D.C.)

  • Provided administrative and janitorial support to analysts in a consulting firm.
Administrative Assistant or Janitor? Exhibit A leads us to believe that Alycia was a janitor. It took every ounce of willpower to not walk out.
  • Reason for leaving: It was time. I felt myself resenting the job for a few reasons: Reason 1: I couldn’t keep cleaning up after adults. Reason 2: I was overworked and underpaid. I did the job of three people for $45,000/year. Reason 3: I never felt anxiety until I worked here. I would go home stressed about the never-ending workload. Reason 4: My former boyfriend and I are no longer together, so there’s no reason for me to remain in D.C. Reason 5-7: I could not keep cleaning up after adults. Reason 8: I’M MOVING TO MADRID TO TEACH ENGLISH!!!! 🙂

26. Chief Executive Operator: September 2018-FOREVER
My Currency Canvas (Worldwide)

  • After 25 jobs, I called it quits. I was done trying to find my “dream job”, so I went out and created one. I built someone else’s dream from 6 am to 10 pm, then came home and built my dream from 10:30 pm to 2 am. I used my paychecks from jobs that I hated to become debt-free. Your frugal friend is here to help you do the same. My Currency Canvas is about creating YOUR financial future, not your employers’.

In hindsight, I’m grateful that I’ve been employed in so many places in the past decade. I’m grateful that 25 employers gave me an opportunity to learn because now I know a little bit about a lot. It’s helped me become well-versed in many aspects of life. It’s made me adaptable to any situation and all types of people. It’s also helped me learn about my passions, hobbies, and interests. Your frugal friend dropped out of college (twice), was fired five times, and is still DEBT FREE! Please do not feel bad or like you’re a failure if you’ve had a bunch of jobs, or if you’ve only had one job. Also, don’t feel bad if a job isn’t working out because you can always find another one (or you can create one).

How many jobs have you had? What’s been the best (and worst) job you’ve ever had? Please share in the comments below!